The problem of blessing
A number of years ago I had a slightly unpleasant experience. We had just come back to Swansea from Lebanon and I was at a church meeting where one of the current evangelical gurus from London, a suave, smart-suited fellow with not a hair out of place, was holding forth on the subject of workplace evangelism. In the best tradition of not lecturing at people without a break he made us do some exercise on, I think, what our work colleagues liked. I stared at the blank sheet of paper for some time. The suited man strolled over and stared at me. “Are you finding it a bit too easy?” he asked. “No,” I said. “I’m unemployed.”
I was reminded of this salutary tale last night, when feeling like some dynastic Victorian father, I gazed over the table at not just my wife but Son I and wife, and Son 2 and fiancée, just arrived for the weekend through rain and wind, all discussing the Puritans. I felt blessed and want to share it but, mindful of my readership, feel uneasy. For there are those who are not so blessed.
I know I am not alone in being made uneasy by blessings. In our church, for example, we have taken a decision not to mark Mothering Sunday. We have too many failed marriages, single women and infertile couples. (If your church is different, please don’t tell me.) In a city where unemployment has never really gone away, we try, unlike the besuited speaker, not to assume that everyone has a job and a pension. In writing this blog to a largely unknown readership I must assume that not all out there are as blessed as I am. This raises a problem: what am I to do with my blessing? How am I to express my pleasure at friends, family, health, a measure of wealth (at least by the standards of most of the world) and yes, blog readers and fans? And all entirely undeserved.
In fact, I suspect that this last phrase is the key. It is a grace gift: it is all undeserved. (By the way isn’t it the unfortunate and probably inadvertent implication that blessing has been merited, one of the things that makes the prosperity gospel so unappealing?) So friends far and wide, I am blessed: I give thanks and I wish there was some way of sharing it around.
On various other matters, I apologise for the delay in writing the blog; it’s been a busy week. It’s that time of the month when I write a blog for Speculative Faith and I have had a lot of other things to do. And now, back to the family.
Themocracy
The key might be in the following verse; Rom 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
It does not say don’t rejoice or don’t weep, but do so in the appropriate company.
I agree with Smokey. The corollary of this is then that other Christians would also rejoice with you when you rejoice and weep with you when you weep.
This is also showing that you are regarding others as more important than yourself (sorry, I’ve forgotten the scripture reference), which is also important. So I guess that wisdom and discernment is required, but it is written that if we pray for wisdom that it will be given to us, and then, with discernment, we can act appropriately.
Speaking for myself alone, I appreciate your acknowledgements of both the good times and the bad, as well as the thoughtful issues you bring up. I should probably start doing more myself on my family’s blog.
I have been looking at your speculative faith blog. I saw that Bryan davis, whose forum I am on, had posted. He though you were an “Intelligent articulate gentleman, though he disagreed with your analysis”.
the problem with that, smokey, is if everyone does it, you get people crying because someone else is crying, and then everyone starts crying. So somone has to stay happy
.
Dear Chris,
I have a grown-up daughter and I never married, so I guess that makes me one of the people you are worried about upsetting. Please don’t be! Feel free to express your pleasure in your family any time!
The thing is, I can look back on my life and see that I made some bad decisions, but it seems God has blessed me anyway. So why would I be upset if other people made better choices and were also blessed? I hope that makes sense.
Blessings! (Of course)
Catherine
Hmm I havent quite worked out how to answer people individually.
Smokey and Boaz; helpful comments as ever. In teaching we talk about the Reflective Practitioner; I guess we all ought to be this way.
Hi Anonymous,
Thanks for this. Interesting about Brian; whose words I appreciated: the Dawkins type of atheism is so shrill and arrogant it is hard to deal with. He was more humble.
I was very unhappy with the exchanges as I found the format odd (we kept running out of space). I was rather hoping that others would weigh in, as with the runup to christmas I was very busy.
If Brian ever wanted a private discussion via email I’d be happy to get involved.
Cheers
Chris
Hey,
Brain davis has a forum http://www.dragonsinourmidst.com/forums/forumdisplay
that you might be interested in looking at. It has debate thread and everything and I am sure he would be happy for you to join. Though you are probably busy with teaching and writing and such. Though if you ever have time it would be fun for you to drop in.
Anonymous Prodigy
Chris,
This posting reminds me of a while back you pondering pride.
The other day I found myself thinking on this and I began to hear Bono singing the line from the song Pride “In the name of Love…..etc” That line caught me and made me think. Is that the clue? If it’s in the name of love, that is how we should look at / respond to the issue of Pride?
I think the blessing question has a similar scenario in trying to understand it. And if we were to never be proud or celebrate blessings, would they, could they, then be considered as such? Is not some of that celebration indeed part of the pulse of these events in our lives? I realize in todays politically correct society we are to never offend or interfere with another’s (what word fits here?) life ,being, belief’s? but if we never discuss, or are truly guarded, with our joy in these times what are we saying to the one blessing us?
I agree we need to be aware and not intentionally offend others. But if nothing is discussed or shared or praised (at risk) because we may offend, then I fear we will have descended into a very dark place.
take care,
dugmad
Proverbs 25:11 says “{Like} apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.” NASB
and
Proverbs Pro 15:23 says “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!” NLT
Maybe timing is everything!
Sure, the lives we live in this era of history can be sad and terrible and unfair. For some it may be a very dark existence; but please don’t dim the lights further out of fear of offense. It truly is a dark day when we can’t even celebrate the moments of light that we do have.
If someone is offended because you have something that they do not, it is called covetousness. And I do not think it proper to try and put a bushel over the Lord’s blessings in our life in order to cater to something God has called a sin.
Please don’t take my words as being harsh, they are not meant to be. I only think it sad when gratitude and praise to the Lord are hampered in this fashion. I do have compassion to those who may be offended because their homes are broken. I want to see them rise above circumstances and recognize the blessings they do have. And I truly don’t believe that catering to their misfortunes by “toning down” the blessings of others helps them to make the paradigm shift necessary to live a life of gratitude.
As for Mother’s Day, I’m sorry that so many in your congregation have concerns in the area of motherhood (I personally also find it uncomfortable because my mother and I are not on the best of terms) but in most areas, if something is that rare, it is also that much more valuable. So I am equally sorry that your congregation has forfeited the opportunity to celebrate the valuable gift found in your mothers.
Let me leave off with Prov 10:22 (emphasis mine)
“The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and HE ADDETH NO SORROW WITH IT.”
Hi all,
Good thoughts, both on the nature of blessing and on the way we often scuff our toe when we talk about it.
I agree that the Lord’s blessing is something we don’t earn. But there is also the fact that the way we live has a great deal to do with how blessing flows. Much of what you describe, Chris, in the way of good family relationships, is the result of GOOD CHOICES that you and your family have made over the years. And this is the tricky part. Can we acknowledge that walking in obedience to God and His Word brings blessing, and yet not think of the blessing as a result of our own works?
“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light…” We can compare living obediently to walking on a path where the light shines specifically on the path, with the area to the sides in darkness. As long as we stay on the path, the light shows the way, and illuminates the obstacles so we can avoid them. If we stray off the path, however, we can’t see where we are going, and we start to trip and fall over all sorts of things. This is when life can get difficult.
I confess that I have trouble with the lamentations of some people who have knowingly disobeyed the Lord and made choices opposite to those instructed in His Word. If the roadsign says, “Bridge Out”, and I motor on through anyway, I should not be surprised when I find myself in the ravine. I speak from experience. I fear that we in the family of God coddle each other far too much. We say, “Oh, poor you,” when we should be saying, “What did you expect? You made the choice to go in that direction, and now you must deal with the consequences. Learn from this.”
Don’t misunderstand me. I understand that bad things often happen to good people, that life is not fair, and that we cannot for a moment assume that difficulties are necessarily the result of some failing on a person’s part. I am referring here to the results of disobedience. And perhaps, if we’re honest, this is more often the case than we care to admit.
I wonder if much of the immaturity we lament in the body of Christ isn’t a byproduct of not calling a spade a spade. We do each other no favors by soft-peddling sin and its consequences. I can’t espect my children to mature if I run interference for them and don’t let them experience the results of their choices. But even though I allow them to experience the pain, I still hurt with them, and am there to help them through it. And God is a far better Father than I.
Take care,
Terry
Very well put Terry.
You even used the “C” word.
The one that we seem to no longer know its meaning. The one we very often are not allowed to use. The one that governments, schools and society as a whole are very much at battle with.
Consequences.
Cue scary music.
dugmad
Well, Mr. Walley, there’s no need to fret, sir. I am a Bible college student in California, and I have had similar thoughts due to my situation. Ya see, my tuition is being payed for by an inheritance, which I GREATLY appreciate, but I have had several close friends who have had to leave lately due to a negative balance on the bill. I fretted for a little while on why I should be the one with the blessing, until God brought to mind the fact that I have been able to use my good situation to help a few other people that I would never be able to help otherwise. So, I vowed never to gripe about the seeming unfairness of the situation. I think Paul sums it up quite nicely in Romans 8:28- “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” So, from my most humble of opinions, count your many blessings, and use them to be a blessing to others who are less fortunate. Can’t WAIT for the next LAtS book to come out. May God be with you, sir.